Youth

...My adolescent years were chaos. At the age of eleven I was formally diagnosed with an insidious neurological illness known as Tourette's Syndrome - an extremely debilitating disorder by which a deficiency in brain neurotransmitter function results in uncontrollable neuro-synaptic activity in various and unpredictable parts of the body. Tourette's Syndrome is a genetic disease which encompasses a group of disorders that affect the central nervous system. The severity of the disorder fluctuates due to various factors including stress and resistance level of the body. In addition to the physical pain and exhaustion which result (and then further exacerbate) the disorder, plus the anxiety and depression which result from the inability to control the symptoms and the negative social consequences of a misunderstood condition, Tourette's Syndrome is probably one of the most insidious afflictions which the human body can suffer. It robs its victims of the basic sense of mind-body control which is at the core of one's sense of stability in the world, and forces a person to experience the most disheartening aspects of social life which no living being should have to endure. It is an affliction which would cause the most faithful of believers to question the benevolence of a creator. Yet at the same time, it presents one with a perspective on the world which goes much deeper than that of the person who isn nmot forced to adapt to such a malady. The challenge is the ability to transmute the negative aspects of the disorder into positive...

How do we move toward the state of purity which is beyond all affliction? We do so through the constant effort to expand mind-body consciousness. How do we expand mind-body consciousness? By always developing knowledge of the internal and external worlds. Individual consciousness is a subunit of the universal. As the atoms which constitute the structure and physiological functions of our body-mind are created through the chemical/energetic processes within the cosmos (the stars) we are interconnected with the fundamental substance which pervades and is all things. In the ancient philosophical systems this substance is known as "Prana" (Indian) or "Chi" (Chinese) or "Ki" (Japanese), and various other synonyms developed by different cultures to describe the some fundamental force. The body-mind reacts to stimuli in the material world. Through repetition of reaction (conditioning) it formulates complexes of reactive behavior. This takes place on various levels of the system (physical, mental, emotional, etc.). This is an example of classical conditioning. However, the reaction complex which is developed is dependent on various factors. These include the reactivity level of the body-mind. Since all matter has chemical structure, then the human body is also chemical in nature. And since the mental and emotional behaviors are the result of the activity of the central nervous system, then the mental processes are also chemical in nature. Thus, physical and mental (re)actions are in essence chemical reactions, and so obey the basic laws of chemistry. An example of this process would be that of hearing a loud noise. The ear reacts to sound waves which are created by vibrations of matter in the environment. The external vibrations are encoded in an internal mechanism in the ear which translates them into electrical energy which is sent to the brain and processed into sound at different frequencies and intensity levels. Yet, the final levels interpreted by the brain are mediated by state of the hearing mechanism at any given time. Among the factors which determine how the transmission is processed is the efficiency of the neurons which transmit the message. The efficiency of the neurons is determined by their chemical reactivity level of the neurotransmitters which carry the electrical impulse down the line of neurons which leads to the brain. The neurotransmitters, like any other chemicals, vary in their behavior due to factors such as : the levels/balance of certain minerals in the body, the efficiency of the endocrine system (which regulates many of the chemical reactions which occur in the body), etc. Therefore, since the reactivity level of the central nervous system varies due to different factors, then the reaction of the body-mind to stimuli in the external world is variable as well. This means that it is possible to alter the degree to which the body-mind forms reaction complexes in response to external stimuli. In essence, with effort we can change the way in which we learn to react.

...Growing up in a working class neighborhood exposed me both to the suffering which is endured by people at the more challenging end of the socio-economic spectrum, as well as the humane aspects of life which are more common and visible in the working class than the higher ones. Yet at the same time, I endured the challenges born specifically from an industrializing society of the late 20th century. Later in life I would mix with people of much higher and much lower status' in society. The experience of youth becomes a compass with which we navigate and interpret the experiences of later life. Looking back now, it seems miraculous that I was able to break free of the strong cohesive force pulling back towards the situation I was born into. Many people, I believe, are held down by their roots as do not get the opportunity to fully break free from them and have the life experiences which they truly desire. On the other hand, the process of breaking free is often a traumatic one with much to lose. However, sometimes it is the only feasible option...